It’s been a while...

I won’t start making excuse as the list would be as long as my arm. So instead I’ll list a few things that stand out in my memory from the last six months. No particular order: just when they come to me.

July 3^rd I was baptised. I can’t even begin to describe how I feel about that. It was the culmination of 6 months’ worth of discovery and the climax of many weeks of pent up anxiety Right up until the last minute I was terrified that it was all just a big mistake; that there’s no way God really wanted me. The nerves all melted as soon as I stood up to give testimony though and the day was absolutely amazing.

Sophie turned 5. My little girl is so grown up. There are times when she is a complete teenager: screaming at me and slamming her bedroom door in my face – but I love that girl to bits. I don’t always feel like the best mother in the world (far from it!) but every day I am so thankful that I have her, as she has the ability to bring out the very best in me. I am so proud of the person she is becoming and can’t wait for each new development in her life.

Went to Greenbelt with some brilliant friends. Bit of a wobble the first night as even in my panic nightmares a couple of nights prior to the trip I hadn’t fully appreciated the effect my claustrophobia would have when I was faced with the prospect of sleeping in a tent. All was dealt with though and the weekend was fantastic. Can’t wait to go back again next year. I loved being outside, the ‘safeness’ I felt by knowing I had such good friends right there, the whole atmosphere of the place was incredible.

My birthday. If anyone had said to me last year that I would go to three different Churches on my birthday, out of choice, and have a great day; I would have laughed. But that’s what happened. Having it fall on Good Friday meant that my birthday this year was rather busy. The evening itself was rather tame: couple of good friends at the snooker club – but getting older isn’t all that bad really :)

Lost...?

I love sunny days. I can have a beer in the middle of the day without feeling particularly bad about it. As long as I drink it in the garden. That’s my strange philosophy. If it’s warm enough to sit in the garden and drink a beer then the fresh air counteracts some of the bad effects of the alcohol. I do usually stick to just the one. Especially if it’s not really all that warm and I end up pretty much downing the bottle before running back into the warmth of the kitchen…

Having not written anything for nearly a week I would feel guilty ending this after the above paragraph. So I’ll continue on for a bit. Hopefully without mentioning alcohol.

This week I’ve had a lot on my mind and not been sleeping particularly well. Things are different though. Much improved. I’m still not 100% comfortable talking about things but I’m so much better than I was. Depending on the situation anyway. Certain people make me feel more comfortable talking than others do. But not necessarily the people I would have expected…

Still feeling a bit lost though. Not sure what my next step is and until I figure it out I feel as if I'm going round in circles.

Exponential Increases

How is it that the noise made by kids grows exponentially with the number of kids present? When Sophie’s at school and it’s just me and James in the house it’s relatively peaceful. Never quiet; but peaceful. When she’s home it gets pretty loud pretty quick. And when we have children visiting: well…

Limerick

I just spent my evening watching the BBC film The Edge of Love, which reignited my love of Dylan Thomas’ poetry. I looked up a few online, surprised at how many I remembered. Really ought to get a book… Anyway, I came across one that I’d never heard, as I know I’d have remembered this:

There was an old bugger called God,
who got a young virgin in pod.
This disgraceful behaviour
begot Christ our Saviour,
who was nailed to a cross, poor old sod.

[It might not have actually been written by Dylan, but he certainly loved to quote it!]

Wedding Dance

Got a lot on my mind today, for once not my own issues… Gonna keep this short and sweet and just post a video I came across this evening. I’ve so got to do this if I get married (",)

Poor Judoon :(

Ok. After yesterday’s post I think I ought to try writing a bit earlier before the temptation of alcohol kicks in. Or rather, before the alcohol itself kicks in…

Today’s been … good. Good conversation, good food, (good glass of sparkling rose), good behaviour from the boy. I could go on listing ‘good’ things but I shan’t.

Instead I am going to write about something I’m thankful for on many occasions as a result of living with small children.

PVA glue.

Before I had kids I hadn’t realised quite how versatile PVA is. In the last four years I’ve used it to re-hem curtains (I suck at sewing and had run out of wonderweb), reattach torn wallpaper, seal doors on toy cars (thus preventing small boys pulling them off and losing them) and to generally add that extra bit of ‘stick’ when needed to a number of things around the house. That’s not to mention the fun we have with it when doing craft.

Today it saved the life of a Judoon Captain. His leg had been torn off during a battle with a Dalek and Mickey Smith. He’d been left alone to die; his right leg unceremoniously hidden down the back of the sofa. With just a small drop of glue and a long enough recuperation/drying time he should make a full recovery. Although, as I had to use a fine file to roughen up the joint a bit before applying the glue, his right leg is now slightly shorter than his left… Sorry Captain!

Red Red Wine

Today I’m liking how the short-term effects of wine drinking include making problems seem insignificant.

I also quite like how drinking the wine quickly makes the room spin when I stand up too fast.

Tastes pretty damn good too.