As I write this, I have just four days left until I start work. Four days. It doesn’t seem like long ago that I was thinking I had a month to go; time just vanishes. Chances missed; free time frittered away… I’ve spent so much of the last month focused on what I will be losing when I start work rather than focusing on the positives.
Reading Richard’s letter made me think: how many rocks have I not bothered to pick up over my life, thinking they were worthless? How many more diamonds am I going to miss?
I need to grasp this opportunity and make the most of it. At the back of my mind there is still a voice telling me there’s been a mix-up in the recruitment process and they’ve mistaken me for another applicant. I need to ignore that voice and remember that I got here on my own merit and I AM capable of doing well.
After not working for over six years the change in my whole life is going to be immense. I am going to see a lot less of the kids; by the time I get home they’ll be tired and grumpy and that’s going to be hard. I won’t see my friends so much; I’ll miss them a lot. Leaving the house every morning at a time that I’ve grown accustomed to still being in bed; ouch! Spending all day in an unfamiliar environment with a bunch of strangers; I’m shaking at the thought…
But I’m going to be meeting a whole new group of people. I’ll be able to have adult conversations throughout the day. My brain will get used more effectively again. I might even enjoy myself!
“God can change our circumstances, but sometimes He waits for us to show real desire for change as well as our faith in Him.” I guess He knows I’m ready for this, even if I’m feeling apprehensive myself. I find a lot of reassurance in that!
WRITTEN FOR AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2012 MAGAZINE