"All my hopes and expectations:
Looking for an explanation.
Have I found my destination?"

Tuesday 10 April 2012

Starting Over

It's been months since I last posted on here.  A lot has changed in that time, but so much has stayed the same.  Lately I've been getting more involved in church; in little ways that are comfortable for me.  Think I've found a little niche that I can fit into, where I feel safe and secure but at the same time be able to do little things that can help other people.  

The main thing I've been doing is the church magazine.  To start with I enjoyed the challenge of bringing the magazine up to date, making it look more professional and just generally feeling like I was doing something small to help out.  Then I started writing articles for it.  On the whole, these articles are pretty basic: 250 words on the story behind Valentine's day; encouraging people to come to house group; how eggs and bunnies can still point towards Jesus...  Two months ago I wrote an article with the title "Journal of a New Disciple" that spoke a bit about my personal struggles and how I am overcoming them with the help of my faith.  I wrote a second article for the April magazine.  

Feedback that I have received has been really encouraging.  I must admit I didn't really expect anyone to actually read the articles, let alone get anything positive out of them (especially enough to come and talk to me about it).  It's made me think and reassess why I even wrote the first one.  

I have the thought in my head, getting stronger day by day, that I want to do more.  Local Preacher is definitely something I want to pursue.  Who knows what else in the future.  I have my doubts about my ability, but not about the feeling that it is what I should be doing.  And slowly the voice in my head saying: "who would want to hear what I have to say?" is quietening. 

If what I am writing for the magazine can touch even one person in a positive way; help them in their own faith, then I'm doing something good.  And I want to keep that up.  So my new idea is to try and post something on here once a week ish, and then when it comes to writing my article for the magazine I can either draw from that or write something new (and then post that to the blog).  

Knowing my past history of blogging I'm probably going to post the two articles I've already done and in six months come back with a new idea of what to use this blog for.  But right now I'm feeling optimistic.  Writing more often will give me more focus anyway - even if no one reads it!

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